


i was lost at sea (and there you were)

by centreoftheselights



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Autistic Logan Sanders, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Board Games, Bringing Tea, Caretaking, Chronic Illness, Chronically Ill Virgil Sanders, Deceit has a pet snake, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Support, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Napping, Nonbinary Deceit Sanders, Overstimulation, Overwhelment, Sensory Overload, Teasing, Therapy Techniques, asking for help, fatigue, fibromyalgia, gratitude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23738143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights
Summary: Virgil's chronic illness means he has good days and bad days. But with his partners' help, even a "bad day" can still be a good one.
Relationships: Analoceit
Comments: 33
Kudos: 349
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Centreoftheselights' Bad Things Happen Bingo 2020





	i was lost at sea (and there you were)

**Author's Note:**

> One of my [Bad Things Happen Bingo prompts](https://potestessemagishomosexualitatis.tumblr.com/tagged/bad-things-happen-bingo), from [VintageSquid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageSquid):
> 
> Hello lovely!! I'd like to submit a request for the bad things bingo! Let's go with Deceit/Virgil/Logan, chronic pain, with Virgil as the victim? With a happy ending
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, lovely!

No matter how many times it happened, it always managed to take Virgil by surprise.

He was sat on the couch working on editing a video for his YouTube channel. This was a more light-hearted video about cryptids, to counter-balance a few heavy episodes lately talking about disability and mental health.

Or at least, that was the plan. But Virgil was having trouble focussing on the task in front of him, thoughts seeming to slip out of his mind like trying to catch water with his bare hands. He was beginning to get frustrated, so he shut the laptop and took off the headphones for a minute, closing his eyes.

And he stayed there.

He didn't want to open his eyes again. His body felt so heavy, as though it were made of lead, as though gravity were suddenly ten times stronger. He let his hands drop, his head lolling back against the couch, sinking into the irresistible force. Opening his eyes seemed like an impossible task, and the thought of returning to editing was making him feel almost literally nauseous.

He knew he shouldn't fall asleep. He also knew that a lot of days, he wouldn't have any choice in the matter. But normally he was alone when a wave of symptoms hit him – and today, he was not. It was Dee's day off and they were in the next room, playing some kind of podcast as they cleaned out their corn snake’s tank.

Calling out wasn't something Virgil could do right now. But with Herculean effort, he forced his eyes open and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He opened the messenger app, selected Dee and typed a few letters: “Hlp.”

As soon as the app said “Sent,” Virgil sagged back, his energy exhausted. _It'll be okay, Dee is coming. Dee will know what to do…_

“Virgil?” Dee's voice was soft and close, in the same room. Virgil startled at the sound. Wait, why was Dee here? Had Virgil fallen asleep?

He made an incoherent sound of recognition.

“I'm going to move your laptop,” Dee said softly.

Laptop? What -

The weight of Virgil's laptop was lifted away, and it was only with the absence that Virgil realised how heavy it had been on his legs, pressing him down against the – couch? Why was he asleep on the couch?

“Can you open your eyes for me, darling?”

Virgil groaned, but did his best to obey. The world outside his eyelids was blindingly bright, sending stabs of pain lancing through his eyes and into his skull. Slowly, the pain began to ebb away, and Virgil was left looking at one of his favourite sights in the world – Dee's face, one Virgil knew almost as well as his own, with its deep bronze complexion and features as sharp as their razor wit.

“There you are, darling.”

Dee's brown eyes looked worried even as they softened looking at him, pinched expression creasing the skin around the pale scars that marked their cheek and forehead. Apep the corn snake was still coiled around their arm, making his way towards Dee's shoulder, and they tsk-ed, gently transferring him to their other hand.

“Flare-up?” they asked softly.

Virgil made an affirmative noise.

“It's… too much,” he said weakly. Words like 'hypersensitivity' and 'overstimulation' were there inside his brain, but it was like they were trapped behind a thick sheet of glass, impossible to access even if his tongue had the co-ordination to wrap around them.

“Can you tell me what you need?” Dee prompted. “Take your time.”

Virgil took a long, slow breath. Even though the room was silent, his ears were pounding like he was stood next to the speakers at a rock concert, making it almost impossible to focus his attention on anything else. What his body wanted, desperately, was to be sleeping – but there was something else. Something he had put off too long…

“Food,” Virgil said, eventually. “Gotta eat… then I can sleep.”

“Of course.” Dee smiled at him warmly. “Can you make it to the kitchen? I need to finish up with Apep before I can make you a sandwich, and I don't want you to throw your back out by falling asleep on the couch.”

“Mmm…”

Virgil held out a hand, and Dee hauled him to his feet. Virgil leaned both hands on Dee's shoulders for balance as the world seemed to sway under his feet.

“Okay… okay.” Virgil sighed. “… thank you.”

“Don't mention it,” Dee murmured. They pressed their forehead against Virgil's – just about the only body part they could safely touch right now.

Apep nuzzled curiously at Virgil's hand, his tongue flicking out to scent him.

“Hey, buddy. No food here.” Virgil chuckled and stepped back from Dee, only faltering for a second at the loss of support. “You know what, I can uh… I'm fine, I'll just grab some chips or something.”

“Nonsense,” Dee said, their voice soft but stern. “Go and sit down, I'll be with you in two minutes.”

“I… yeah, okay.”

Virgil turned and started walking towards the kitchen. In the doorway, he stumbled over his own feet, steadying himself against the wall with a sigh.

“Dee?” he said softly.

“Yes, darling?”

“Fibro sucks.”

Dee chuckled.

“On that matter, darling, I will defer to your expertise.”

#

“Vee.”

There was a tapping sound. Someone knocking. Virgil stirred, opening his eyes to a dark bedroom, lit only by the residual glow of sunlight around the edges of the thick blackout curtains.

Memories of eating lunch and falling asleep came back to him hazily, as though it was something he'd dreamt. Details were unclear – he knew Dee took his hoodie from him to keep him from overheating, but he couldn't remember where they put it, or what they said to him other than: “Sleep well, darling; I love you.”

But it wasn't Dee's voice that woke him.

Virgil rolled over to see Logan stood in the doorway, still in his polo shirt and tie from work. Virgil must have been asleep all afternoon, then.

“L?” Virgil asked, voice croaking a little. His throat was as dry as the desert right now.

“I'm sorry to wake you.” Logan moved to sit on the mattress beside him, careful not to touch the pressure-point minefield that was Virgil's body. He was close enough that even in the darkness Virgil could see the fondness in his gaze. “I brought you some chamomile tea.”

“You're amazing,” Virgil gasped, sitting up far enough that he could drink. He was a lot less dizzy now that he'd rested, and the throbbing headache had receded back to a low-level ache. Logan had made sure the tea was cool enough to drink before bringing it, a thoughtfulness which made Virgil feel a completely different kind of warm inside.

“I'm guessing Dee told you, but I got kinda overstimulated earlier,” he explained. “I think it was just working on editing for too long, I got tired without noticing. But before you say anything, _yes_ , if this happens again I'll rethink the new upload schedule. What time is it?”

“It's getting close to dinnertime.”

Fuck. It was meant to be Virgil's night to cook. Fuck, he'd -

Logan cleared his throat.

“Dee and I were talking and… we have agreed we are experiencing urgent cravings for Thai food.” Logan wasn't a good liar, but Virgil couldn't help but be endeared by the obvious attempt to make him feel better. “Would it be satisfactory to you if we ordered take-out tonight, and move your cooking day to this weekend?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, but he couldn't keep from smiling.

“Yeah, L. That would be fine.” He sighed, and squeezed Logan's hand. “But I'm going to have to make Dee's favourite on Saturday to thank them for taking care of me earlier.”

“You don't owe us _anything_ for that,” Logan said immediately. “You wouldn't think twice about offering help if it was one of Dee's flashbacks, or if I was having a meltdown -”

“No, it's fine, chill.” Virgil chuckled, and ran a hand through his hair. “I'm not trying to earn you guys' affection or pay them back for helping me. But I do want you both to know that I am so… _so_ grateful to have you both in my life. The way you take all this bullshit in stride is just… thank you.”

“Supporting your needs is the bare minimum of decency.”

“Yeah, and a lot of people aren't decent,” Virgil quipped. When Logan frowned again, he threw up his hands. “But they can fuck off! What I'm trying to say is that I love you.”

“Oh.” Logan's eyes widened, and he flicked his free hand several times. “I love you too.”

Virgil smiled at him, basking in his boyfriend's happiness for a moment. Then he sat up, pushing himself fully upright.

“Okay,” he said. “I think I'm good to get up now.”

“Plan?” Logan prompted.

“Take some ibuprofen, eat some Thai food, and have a low-energy social night with my beautiful partners. Sound good?”

“It sounds perfect.”

“I don't feel up to working any more today. I'll have to push the video back…”

Damn, he'd gotten basically nothing done today. And if this turned into a full flare-up it was going to wreck his schedule -

Virgil bit his lip, recognising the start of a thought spiral.

“There is no benefit to feeling guilty about not meeting my own goals,” he murmured to himself, reciting the mantra that he and his therapist had come up with for moments like this.

Logan joined him for the second part, knowing that sometimes it helped Virgil to hear someone else say the words: “So long as you are trying your best, no-one can reasonably ask any more of you.”

Virgil took a slow breath, counting the beats. Logan tapped out the seconds against the back of his hand. When he was done, he opened his eyes again and shook his head.

“I'm fine,” he reassured Logan. “It's just a lot to deal with, sometimes. It's hard to get anything done when my body can just… break down like that.”

“And yet you achieve so much,” Logan responded. “You are magnificent, Virgil.”

“Kiss?” Virgil asked.

“Closed-mouth,” Logan agreed, tilting his head to allow Virgil to press their lips together.

When they pulled apart, Virgil was smiling.

“Come on,” he said, getting to his feet. “I need to do that to Dee. And then… board game night?”

“I would be amenable to that.”

Virgil chuckled. “Just so you know, when you two kick my ass at Catan, it's definitely because of the fatigue.”

“And what's your excuse the rest of the time?” Dee was standing in the doorway, grinning at the pair of them.

Virgil shook his head. “This is what I get for dating a scientist and a lawyer. You two always outsmart me.”

“But we're worth it,” Dee purred, putting their hand on Virgil's chest.

Virgil's breath caught, and, in a moment of boldness, they leant down and captured their partner's lips. They could feel Dee smile into the kiss before pressing in deeper.

Logan cleared his throat behind them. Dee flipped the two of them without breaking the kiss, pressing Virgil against the wall so Logan could get past without brushing against the sensitive nerves in Virgil's hips and shoulders. By the time they broke apart, breathless, they could hear Logan ordering over the phone in the next room.

“Chill on the sofa while we wait for the food to arrive?” Virgil suggested.

“That sounds like a simply _awful_ idea,” Dee drawled. “True crime documentaries on Netflix?”

Virgil made a face. “Sorry. Not really in a screen mood right now.”

Dee sighed heavily.

“I suppose we'll just have to _talk_ to each other, then,” they teased. “How barbarous.”

“Yeah,” Virgil said, mimicking Dee's trademark sarcasm. “I can't think of anything worse.”


End file.
